MLK and Gandhi would think modern protesters are pathetic LARPing idiots - or perhaps feds.

Ah, protests. That age-old ritual where the aggrieved gather in mobs, wave signs, chant slogans, and generally make life miserable for everyone except the folks they’re supposedly mad at.

Historically, they’ve been sold as the ultimate tool for the little guy to stick it to The Man. We hear fond tales of the Boston Tea Party, where colonists dumped tea into the harbor to flip off British taxes, or of suffragettes chaining themselves to railings for women’s right to votes.

It’s true, some of these protest movements sparked substantive change, but let’s be real: most historical protests were effective only because they targeted power structures directly, or at least symbolically, without turning everyday streets into war zones for commuters.

That ain’t what we’re seeing nowadays.

It’s worth repeating because it’s essential: the truly effective protest movements of the past often succeeded through disciplined, peaceful resistance that exposed injustice without alienating the broader public or giving the state an easy excuse to crack down harder.

Take Gandhi’s Salt March in 1930: He and 78 well-trained followers made a 240-mile trek to the sea to defy the British salt monopoly with a simple, symbolic act — picking up a handful of natural salt.

No violence, no property destruction, just nonviolent civil disobedience (satyagraha) that invited the world to witness colonial brutality when police beat unarmed marchers at Dharasana.

Those images flooded global newspapers, generating massive sympathy for India’s cause and eroding British moral authority. It unified millions, revived the independence movement, and pressured negotiations — proving that peaceful resistance leverages the state’s overwhelming advantage in violence by making repression backfire politically.

Martin Luther King Jr. followed the same playbook, inspired by Gandhi. In the 1963 Birmingham campaign, nonviolent protesters — children included—faced fire hoses, dogs, and clubs from Bull Connor’s forces.

Televised footage of peaceful demonstrators enduring savage attacks without retaliation sparked nationwide outrage, shifted public opinion, and forced desegregation deals plus federal intervention.

MLK understood: when the oppressed stay disciplined and nonviolent, the oppressor’s violence becomes the story, winning sympathy and moral high ground.

Welp, protestors today don’t seem to have learned those lessons.

These last 10-15 years, we’ve suffered a protest pandemic that’s less revolution and more performance art. From Occupy Wall Street in 2011, where tent cities clogged parks and achieved zilch beyond bad press for capitalism, to the endless BLM marches that devolved into riots torching small businesses.

Then there’s the deranged climate-change kids gluing themselves to roads since 2018, or the anti-ICE scream-and-whistle-fests in quiet suburbs — do you know what those damnable whistles do to local cats and dogs?

Whatever the flavor-of-the-month outrage is, we’ve had more mass demonstrations in this era than in any comparable stretch — millions marching against Trump, Brexit backlashes, Hong Kong’s umbrella uprising (which at least had guts), and now, in 2026, the ongoing AI rights sit-ins blocking Silicon Valley freeways.

These bored and angry pests are definitely serving up a veritable buffet of disruption, but what’s the scorecard on actual change?

Spoiler: It’s a big fat zero. Or sometimes worse, their awfulness provokes a counterproductive backlash that entrenches the status quo — with the public on the side of the state, not the LARPers.

Here’s where my blood boils: These self-righteous spectacles don’t touch the government one iota. On the contrary, they zero in on us — the ordinary schlubs just trying to get to work, pick up kids, or enjoy a peaceful evening.

Every blocked freeway strands parents late for daycare pickups, costing them jobs or fines. Every nerve-rattling whistle brigade in a residential neighborhood terrorizes families with migraines and PTSD triggers (and their poor pets) not some faceless bureaucrat in DC.

And then there’s the property destruction: Arson on mom-and-pop shops, smashed windows at local diners — it’s like protesters have a vendetta against the very citizens they’re claiming to “liberate.”

If you’re protesting corporate greed, why burn down the corner store owned by immigrants just scraping by? If it’s government overreach, why not camp out at the Capitol steps instead of turning Main Street or public parks into trash heaps?

I despise these protesters not for their causes — hey, if you’ve discovered the system’s rigged, join the club, rookie — but for their boneheaded tactics that punish the powerless.

It’s as dumb as it is pointlessly cruel. It’s like yelling at the waiter because the chef screwed up your order.

Governments love this stuff; it divides the public, justifies more surveillance and violence, and lets politicians play hero by “restoring order.” Remember 2020? Billions in damages from “mostly peaceful” protests, and what did we get? More federal funding for police tech, more cops, and more federal officers.

Good job, assholes!

Which brings me to the burning question: Are these people serious, or just LARPing? Live-action role-playing as revolutionaries, complete with costumes (keffiyehs, pussy hats, whatever), props (megaphones, whistles, spray paint), and scripted chants.

If the government’s truly oppressive, I get it. I agree. But what to do about it? What actions could actually help?

I write and podcast and encourage others to use their voice likewise — while we still have it. Or perhaps we can rally votes through the political process to oust the bums — not likely, but not nothing.

I get going underground, practicing agorism, evading taxes, regulations, or mandates like a modern-day royal tax resister. Heck, fleeing the whole mess, 1930s-Germany-style, packing up for freer pastures — that makes sense.

And if it’s endgame bad, I even get actually taking up arms, demanding secession, and going into full 1776 mode. It’s hella risky, but logical if you’re that committed and the problem is that bad.

What I don’t understand is this current nonsense — half-hearted hordes who disrupt lives without a plan beyond viral TikToks.

They scream “defund the police” while calling cops on counter-protesters. They demand climate action by idling traffic, spewing more emissions. They hate borders so they seize “autonomous zones” complete with their own ID-checking borders.

It’s theater, not strategy — annoying allies, alienating neutrals, and amusing adversaries.

If effectiveness is the goal, protests today score an F. They’d achieve more by boycotting, building alternatives, or just staying home, learning sound political philosophy and voting smarter.

But no, for these idiots it’s all about the feel-good fury, leaving the rest of us to clean up the mess. In the end, maybe that’s the point: Not change, but childish catharsis at our expense.

Time to wake up, folks — these modern LARPer protests aren’t heroic; they’re a hassle. If you’re mad at the machine, target it properly, or admit you’re just playing pretend.

Naturally,

Adam